With royal worship having gone full tonto, Britain becomes North Korea without the laughs

Every country where begging, where mendacity, is a profession, is ill-governed.

Voltaire

The Queen’s Platinum Jubilee celebrations are more than an embarrassment they are an insult to the intelligence of every adult in the UK who has retained the ability to tie their own shoelaces. Down the Mall in central London a royal procession of the useless and the gormless, a family of puffed up over pruned eccentrics will be cheered and fawned over as unbridled sycophancy grips the nation.

HRH Elizabeth II at 96 has been on the throne so long it’s impossible to imagine anyone else taking her place. Certainly not Prince Charles, a man whose mendacity is only exceeded by his stupidity, chest covered in medals he didn’t fight for in one of the countless dress military uniforms he parades around in whenever the occasion allows.

Somewhere among this royal gaggle will also be the bloated and perspiring personage of Prince Andrew, no doubt still sporting from his legal travails involving allegations of sex with underage girls for which his mum Betty lovingly provided him, it is said, with the £12 million required to resolve the matter in an out of court settlement.